blessings

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, and also because my last post was a downright downer, here are some things that bring me oodles of joy:


Friends. J-Rod visited Boston over Veteran's Day and we honored our troops in the best way we knew how: cheeseburgers, wine, & American flags. Oh and many 11-11-11 wishes. Hit that 11:11 am AND pm, broke it up into 20 second intervals to maximize wish making... have I shared too much? Do I sound crazy? Twas a delight to have my first guest & I really love that Jeanenne and I make an effort to see each other. Life is hectic & there are always a dozen things we think we should be doing, but really, what's the point if we don't make time to see the people we care about?

Festivities. One night we made scrolls for our 8th graders who were writing their own declaration of independence. With a preamble and all (cue Schoolhouse Rock "weee the peopleeee, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice and insure domestic tranquilityyyyYYYY"). Being the domestic goddess that I am, I decided to bake some brownies. And voila, out came a pile of poop. Poop + scrolls with grill marks -- strangely representative of this stage of our lives.

Future. I got accepted to my first law school last week! It was such a happy, validating, relief of a moment. Also I am not ashamed to say I listened to the voicemail on repeat and did my pointy finger celebratory dance. Also my roommate Rob got into his first med school on the same night which was just beautiful. Asticou is going places!

Fowl. Just keeping with the F theme. This is the pond I pass when I go running in the arboretum. Are you more confused because you don't know what an arboretum is or because you didn't know I am a world-class marathon-training runner extraordinaire? I like to run. My power song is All of the Lights and when I feel like collapsing I just think of Jennifer Aniston being twice my age and 70 times more in shape than I. Keeps me going for a few more feet.

Frankness. My 7th grade girls kept asking me to straighten my hair so they could see it. Today I busted out the straight hair and MAN these kids are brutally honest. Reactions to my straight hair from various middle schoolers:

"You look like a prettier version of Ugly Betty."
"You should really do this every day. You look SO much better with straight hair. It brings out your complexion. And your attitude."
"So you got tired of your frizzy hair?"

Fam. Most of all, I am so incredibly thankful to have a hilarious, supportive, functional family. In less than 48 hours I shall be reunited with this bunch, eating food I can't afford on my own, watching the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, playing Phase 10, reading at Barnes & Noble, and basking in the glory of home sweet home. This pic is from T-Givs 2010. This year's pics will feature Alex as a full 5 inches taller than me. Yikes. They grow up so quickly.

Father of my children.



A blessing to us all.

bummers

This week marks the end of the first trimester. For the next four days, all my kids have a final exam in each of their classes. It's going to be a stressful, intense week. Do finals even exist in other middle schools? I don't remember ever taking them. With the first third of the year coming to end, I feel like I should reflect. I like reflecting. Also I don't want my family to think all I do is shop, dine, and explore historical landmarks. So here are some bummers:

The blatant disrespect of some of these middle schools is grating and straight up disappointing. And there's nothing worse than disappointment. Remember when your parents told you that they weren't mad, they were just disappointed? Yeah. Gut-wrenching. I try really hard every day to teach them something. When I push them to correct their grammar or check their subtraction, it's not to make myself feel useful. It's to help them do well in school and set themselves up for a good future. I don't think I would ever speak to an adult the way some of my kids have spoken to me. Mainly I was (am) a huge suck up and people pleaser, but beyond that, there is just a common decency to interacting with people. My favorite kinds of disrespect include the kids full-on ignoring me for an entire tutorial; the kids looking me in the eye while they do the exact thing I asked them to stop doing; and the classic simultaneous eye roll/head shake/muttering of "wooowwww" like I am demanding them to do the most arduous and outrageous task in the world. There have been times when I want to cry and slap the kid at the same time. I can handle a little teen sass, but COME ON.

Watching my kids fail their classes is also tough. It is common, even normalized, to be failing at least one class at one point in the semester. I have had to adjust my expectations tremendously because, for some of my kids, a C is a success. A's are actually unattainable for some of them and that's hard for me to comprehend. For other students, it's a matter of being extremely lazy and/or not perceiving the consequences of their actions. If you don't study, you don't do well on the test. If you don't do the homework, you get a 0 for the assignment. Keep it up long enough and you will fail the class. It's simple. Middle school grades, I realize, may not matter much in the long run (unless you want to talk about my 89.5% in the second quarter of 7th grade history that Mr. Freed refused to round up, not that I'm still bitter), but at this school, if they fail classes, they get held back. And it is going to suck to watch your friends go onto the next grade while you have to repeat the same stuff all because you didn't feel like doing your homework. I want to just drill the message into their head, but as my mom says, "You can't want it more for them than they want it for themselves." That's what we in the Carter house call a Lisa Line. There are many.

Next up is bullying, a problem in any middle school, and ours is no exception. One of my kids has been bullied on the bus and on the internet. From an adult's perspective, some of the insults are so stupid that they are laughable, but to an 11 year old, they sting. And there's nothing worse than knowing that people are saying hurtful things about you for no reason. I did my fair share of Mean Girling in 7th grade so, yeah, I get it. Everybody wants to fit in and be cool. But when you hear the kid say she hates school and wants to skip everyday because she knows kids will be mean to her on the bus, it's heartbreaking. It also makes me want to kick the kids in the face. We are doing a bullying prevention week after T-Givs and I'm curious as to how the kids will react. There will be lots of nervous giggling and apathetic eye rolling but I bet it will make a difference for at least one kid, and in that case, it's worth it. Also we all get free t-shirts.

My final stressor of life is applying to law school. There are so many forms to fill out and it's just all about making myself sound brilliant (but humble) /driven (but cooperative)/ fun (but not too fun)/ well- rounded (but with a specific passion). Applications are so superficial but you gotta play the game. I've submitted most of my applications, which is a relief, but waiting sucks. Especially because I'll be hearing back at unexpected times over the course of the next few months. Like I'm just snacking on some candy corn and enjoying the day, and BAM I get a rejection email. At this point I just want to go all HP sorting hat with this nonsense and just have the thing pick out a school for me to attend... full ride, of course. Alas, I shall sit here for the next 8-10 weeks, wracked with anxiety, feeling helpless as my kid gets bullied, unable to motivate them to pass their classes, and enduring the neverending disrespect.

I hope this post has sufficiently depressed you.