"you're a kansan? so you're from canada?"

East coasters do not believe in the midwest. Neither do west coasters, but they're less pretentious about it. YEAH I said it. For those who live on the perimeter of our fair country, the central states are just vast stretches of nothingness to fly over while watching Mean Girls until you arrive at your real destination.

But an entity is nothing without its heart, and Kansas, my friends, is heartland to the max. I am a born and bred Kansan, even if my middle schoolers do not know what that means and think I'm from Canada, and I really despise when people endlessly hate on the state and swear they're gonna leave and never come back.

Note: People who say that are always, I mean always, the ones who come back. But that's another blog post.

True devotion to the state

As much as I love Kansas, though, I have always known there is much more to see in this world besides Sonic and sunflowers. What? I talk about Sonic too much? Have you HAD one of their cherry limeades? No? Suck it. So when the opportunity arises, I like to peace out and experience life outside the middle. Boston seemed like a cool place to check out.

And cool it is. Boston definitely has the upper hand in some respects, but lest you count out dear ole Topeka, I will present a balanced list, a tale of two cities, if you will.

Top City has: friendlier people. Yeah, it’s true. We’re just nicer people. In my six weeks here, I have experienced the worst customer service I’ve ever had. No charm to be found here. Charmless.

But Boston has: meaning. It feels like every place I go to in Boston has been around since the 1600s. The people we read about in history class are people whose graves I walk by.

Sam Adams in the flesh (bones)

Everything here is “America’s First!” America’s First Public School! America’s First Pub! America’s First Extreme Massacre of a Marginalized Group! There is really no building in Topeka that has any historical meaning, barring the Brown v. Board school and maybe T-High for the Trojans among us. Boston is just so old, in the coolest way.

More really old dead people

Just strolling past the balcony where they first read the Declaration of Independence

Boston has: things to do. The city is smaller than I anticipated, but it’s still much more legit than Topeka and St. Louis… combined. Last weekend I sat down and wrote out a list of things I wanted to do while I’m here, including a Salem witch tour, a Boston Tea Party reenactment, and a Red Sox game. There is always something new to do or see, and man, the food is on point. If I could afford it, I would eat at a new restaurant every night. Shout out to Maddie for taking me to The Rattlesnake, where I had the most delish nachos.

But Topeka has: normal weather. Here I either wake up sweating or shivering, and whatever weather you think it’s going to be for the day, you’re wrong. Sometimes it’s 50 degrees when we leave the house and a solid 85 when we come back. That’s not okay. Also I feel like it rains a lot here. A feeling that’s amplified by 15 minute walks to work during which many a bus honks at me, as if to warn me of impending doom, flies past me, and soaks me head to toe. Needless to say, the pass and splash has gotten old.

Topeka has: my car. Oh sweet sweet Linda, how I miss being able to hop in you to take a jaunt to Target, or Panera, or Sonic. Yes, again with the Sonic. 2-4 happy hour. Do it. When I want to go to the grocery store, I have to walk to the station (granted, it’s across the street… but still), wait for the T, sit on the T, walk to the store, and basically live life on someone else’s schedule. I haven’t even been to Target since the first day because the planning process exhausts me. Tragic. Baby violins.*

*Baby Violins: during times of complete silence at school, the 6^th graders are encouraged to express their disappointment through a quick mimed performance on their baby violins.

But Boston has: legit public transportation. I don’t believe I’ve ever taken a bus or a cab in Topeka. I’m fairly certain I’d rather walk than take that risk. As much as I miss having a car, the T can actually take me anywhere I need to go, pretty quickly, and I don’t have to parallel park (a sight no one should witness), get completely lost in a skeezy neighborhood, or buy gas. So maybe this one’s a draw.

Boston has: Progressive people. During training, one of the teachers gave us a quick bio and mentioned that she and her wife had just returned from a trip. Her wife!! It’s like people here actually believe in basic civil rights. MADNESS. I’m already gearing up for the massive pride parade later this year. The east coast liberal elite is my kinda crowd.

But Topeka has: No. We have the Phelps.

Kansas will always have an advantage in the two most essential categories: loved ones and college basketball. But for now, Boston is right where I should be.

Home sweet home